音時雨 ~Regentropfen~

☆ Awaiting for Yield

During the 2 days, I was searching in GenBank for the genes I need. Nevertheless, when I input the key word “antifungal peptide,” GenBank gave me hundreds of matched results! Which I need are that produced by rape and radish and similar ones else. I can sure there is must some advanced search tool in GenBank, but I could not found it. I even got mad at the so much results for I was puzzled with how could I find out my need ones. Then I little regretted because I did not work hard on my Bioinformatics. Oh, dear! To hell with the endless search! I gave up my GenBank work. Then, maybe it was a gift from God, I found out some specific antimicrobial peptide databases! One of them, ANTIMIC, is very splendid! It is easy to search, and another, every search item has a link to GenBank or other database. It made me delighted.
Maybe there is something wrong of our college internet workgroup; maybe there are too much person are using the internet; maybe my laptop is so old that it can not still work quickly (well, of course, that is impossible. My laptop is all right though it produced in 2002). In all, the speed of my online working made me sick!
This term I have not so much class, so I decided that I ought to improve my English level from every aspect. Now I am doing listing and basic grammar.
In every morning, I do a piece of 9 minutes or so listing, one piece a day, and today is the nineteenth day. I listen and write what I listened down – the whole process often takes me about one and half hour. In the noon, I back to my dormitory, power up my laptop, check my written-down with the script. Sometimes I can get a good work, and sometimes it is terrible. Some words I did wrong but I indeed know it. I cannot identify them because of my Kana-like pronunciation (laugh); the English pronunciation style, such as “a,” “that” etc, are always diluted in a long sentence, also makes me fail to do well. Every time when I finished my listening, my right hand is so tired that even collapsed. Will, I indeed write too much, only by my single right hand, for my left hand cannot write smoothly.
In the afternoon, I take one or more hours to study grammar – that is also a work include much of note writing. So once again, my right hand turns to collapse.
Work in front of screen, write down what I listened, note each important item, and soon I will go into my lab (when I have found out all my needed gene sequences and designed out their matched primers). That is my latest day routine, not so colorful but should be fruitful.

✯ Treat, Treat, No Trick!

Today is Halloween, but there is no any atmosphere. No matter, I wanted to do something at this day. Although I stay in America, I still cannot knock someone and say “trick or treat,” for I have not a child any more. Therefore, I decided to enjoy my own Halloween by me myself.
One of my friends and me went out this afternoon. She would go to bank before that. She got a waiting number and there were still 26 people waiting. In this time, I wanted to go to supermarket at first, and then back to meet her. She also wanted to go, and we thought when we back it was her turn; we went to supermarket together finally.
Maybe it was little strange, I bought six small cakes for my supper and my Halloween.
When we backed to bank again, the speaker said, “No.302, please.”
“Ah?! ” she was very surprised.
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh, dear! Mine is no.301…”
In all, we missed just only some seconds…
That time, I found God tricked us…
Well, however, later we went into a small candy shop and bought many lovely marshmallows and candies.
By then, all my Halloween preparations were OK!
This night would be happy, at least.
PS. I decided my nest picture theme should be “Halloween.”
■:*:----:*:□:*:----:*:■:*:----:*:□:*:----:*:■:*:
ハロウィンという日なので、こちらはぜんぜん気分はない。でもやはり少しだけ何とかしよう。自分はもう子供じゃないし、アメリカでも他の人のドアを叩くわけがない。そうだったら、むしろ自分で祝おうと思った。
ということ、午後友達のみちゃんとお買うものに行った。その前、彼女は銀行に行くつもりだったのから、番号をとって見ると、まだ26人は前に待った。と、この待つ間、彼女を銀行に待たせて、私はスパーへ行くつもりだったけど、彼女も行きたかった。26人を待つ時間ならちょうどスパーに行く時間とぴったりはずだと思って、私たちはスパーに行った。
ちょっと変だったが、スパーにケーキを買ってハロウィンに用意した。
そしてもう一度銀行に変えてきたとき、拡声器は番号を放送しているところだった。
「No.302のお客様、ご受け付きください。」
「ありゃ…」と彼女が驚いた。
「どうしたの?」
「私の番号は301だもん…」
あはは…すれ違ったわね、つい先に…
ところで、こんなことは何だか、神様にトリックされたの様な気がする。
まあ、そのあと、私たちは一つ小さな店へ、かわいいマシマロやキャンディーをたくさん買った。
これでは、ハロウィンの準備は全部オーケー!
せめて今夜は楽しそうはずだわね!
追伸 私、決めてきた、次の絵のテーマはハロウィンなのです!

✯ 絡み解き・Re-Combing

I will do my best this time, though I have realized it long ago.
I must make out of my entangled English grammar.
I remember I had a good English mark when I was in middle and high school, I was proud then. Nevertheless, my grammar turned over since I went into college. I want know why, for I did lots of reading and writing. As a result, although I can still write something quickly, I find that I cannot use words freely and I have a serious grammar confusing. Is it because my grammar knowledge drifted away while I was reading?
I do not know very clearly. In a whole, my grammar is the weakest point of my English studying.
I wanted to promote my grammar level, so I read this book: “The McGraw-Hill Handbook of English Grammar and Usage” by Mark Lester and Larry Beason, two years ago. It is a good book, indeed, but there is not so much about the basic knowledge. I read it and became more carefully on the facet of language using, but I still cannot make correct sentences.
In last week, I found this book in my college library: “English Grammar” series, which includes three books, by Betty Schrampfer Azar. Tried to read some pages of them, I realized these books are another good grammar books. From the simplest to the most different points, this series does a fine interpretation. Without other thoughts, I borrowed them and started to learn from this afternoon.
I understood it simply. I got more self-confidence.
Well, the grammar is not so difficult, I thought, as long as I have interesting on it.
I became like to study grammar.
Of course, I have to study grammar no matter about if I like it. However, I know if I like it, I can study happily. From now on, I wish my grammar study would be smoother, for I have take attention in it.
。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。★。+゚☆゚+。
もう早い時分より分かったのに、いよいよ今度本気になったばかり。
今度こそ、必ずその絡み合う混乱状態から抜き出せるの、私の英語文法のことを。
今は考えると、国中生と高校生の私にとって、英語は誇るところの一つだった。しかし、大学に行ってから文法の方はますます絡み合うことになった。何故だろう。私はもうたくさん読んだり、書いたりしてきたものを。結局、絡み合ったから、何を書こうというと書けるけれども、言葉を自由に使い難くて、文法はなんと言っても不自由である。もしかして、私は読みや書きをすると共に、文法をだんだん忘れちゃってしまうのかな。
私には分からない。とにかく、英語の勉強上、文法の問題は私に一番涙を流せるものである。
文法を上手にしようと思うと、よい本が必要である。そして二年前、Mark LesterさんとLarry Beasonさんの『The McGraw-Hill Handbook of English Grammar and Usage』を読んでいた。これは確かにいい本であるが、基本的な知識はあんまり説明はしない。それを読んで私は実際応用の方にたくさん注意をした一方、基本的な語彙の使い方にぜんぜん強めにならなかった。
先週のことだった。図書館にそんな本を見つめた。Betty Schrampfer Azarさんの『English Grammar』シリーズであった。ちょっと開けて読むと、たちまち素晴らしい本だと分かった。一番簡単の文法知識から上手に使えるほどの高級知識まで、ひとつひとつ詳しく説明する本である。何でも思わなかったすぐに借りてもらった私は、今日の午後から正式にこのシリーズを読み始めた。
簡単に理解できて、私にも自信が多くなった。
まぁ、英語の文法とはあんまり難しくないわ。興味が湧き上がる以上なら。ふむ、面白い!
私は文法勉強にもっと好きになった。
もちろん、好きじゃなくても勉強しなければならない。しかし、楽しく習得できるように、やはり好きになるのは必要である。今の私はもうとても気に入っているので、これからも順調にいけるのだろう。

♡ Final Thesis

I got the topic of my final thesis this morning.
Antimicrobial peptides: its gene transduction and expression in prokaryotic and eukaryotic host system.
“You can try the prokaryotic host–vector system at first, for the eukaryotic part is more difficult.”
My teacher said to me.
Well, so I will try my best.
Although I know something about antimicrobial peptide, to get an accurate definition I browsed WIKI.
Antimicrobial peptides (also called host defence peptides) are an evolutionarily conserved component of the innate immune response and are found among all classes of life.
These peptides are potent, broad spectrum antibiotics which demonstrate potential as novel therapeutic agents. Antimicrobial peptides have been demonstrated to kill Gram negative and Gram positive bacteria (including strains that are resistant to conventional antibiotics), mycobacteria (including Mycobacterium tuberculosis), enveloped viruses, fungi and even transformed or cancerous cells. Unlike the majority of conventional antibiotics it appears as though antimicrobial peptides may also have the ability to enhance immunity by functioning as immunomodulators.
So that this topic seemed very interesting, for it would be the first time I touch a whole process about molecular biological experiment, I felt little nervous. Refer to molecular biological experiment; I have to think it is a time-consuming and sorta uncertain work, is not it? In all the steps, you can not see any thing which you want to get: DNAs, RNAs, some dissoluble proteins, or something else. So you do not know whether you get them definitely.
In my experiment, I think the most difficult part should be “primer design” and “vector build.” As soon as my design was correct and I build good vectors, there were not so hard of its transduction and expression. Another, during my experiment, I will try some different DNA donors – a contrast test? Yes, maybe it is!
Failed and try again, time by time. The research road is not plain. Nevertheless, I will make out it, and my final thesis experiment is my first signpost.

✾ Life in Big City

Millions of people have millions of ideas, so I love big-city-life which be seen too crowed by others who chose country-life.
However, a good environment is the only precondition for I choose city-life. Who prefer to live in rubbishes?
Compare to other reasons like high stress or busy routine, the bad environment maybe the main reason to those people who dislike big city. As the increasing of buildings and population, the building-up city is intruding the original nature day by day. That our real nature is decreasing. For the sake, people made out some little “natures,” the green-fields. They are so small and few that even can not be called as “nature,” but they did a good work in our everyday city-life. Like the miniature gardens in family, the green-fields are miniature garden in our city.
But even these miniature gardens can not maintain themselves clean and beautiful.
Do not you think so? The vista of a grass is fully thrown by trashes; what are swaying in wind are not only leaves but also plastic bags. When we do not know, only one clear is trashes have been eating our city sneakily.
As a result, the gardens made by people will be destroyed by people ourselves soon or later.
And that is the problem.
No any garden is originally dirtied. We know it and our facing fact makes us to find out the answer.
Maybe everything happens like this:
Someone looks the notice card with “PLEASE DO NOT DISCARD TRASHES,” but he ignores it, so that the first trash discarded. Later, for the mind of “others also did so,” more people throw their trash. More lately, “everyone around all did, so it doesn’t matter if I do it too.” And at last, the former minority becomes the present majority; the former non-trashes become the present trashes-all-over. That is all.
Besides our selfishness of trouble saving, why not to think more when we throw? Was not we be told that we can not throw trashes around; do not we know that trashes would destroy environment; or had not we heard that some trashes are difficult to breakdown?
I think almost of us know them, but what we did are not what we should did.
In modern society, as our matter-life become richer, our mind-life may become blanker. There is someone only work for his own “home” and take no attention to the outside environment; there are some thoughts of looking to science, which had given us enough matter, can still save our environment completely.
But the thoughts are all wrong. The “home” one only works for, which also belongs to the outside environment; and although science has highly advanced, it can not handle our environment problems completely. If there are such thoughts staying about our world, it can not be helped from the decadent world.
I and lots of people do not want to accept the both such thoughts and fact.
We should do something about the environment problem.
Maybe as normal civilians we can not done very big things, we can also in action from our everyday life. To throw trashes correctly; to sort trashes for recycle. Even the littlest actions will accumulate to a big effect.
Nowadays, lots of governments and international organizations had paid more attentions on environment problems. They had done lot. It is really blessedness that everyone takes part in action.
Living in a big city, every day is busy. Everyday routine is no more than taking rush-hour buses, enduring high stresses, shuttling through noisy crowds. Although such busy life, our body and heart would be eased as soon as city miniature gardens go in sight. I love big-city-life best, for I can realize my existence from routine schedules; for I can enjoy the purest natural life from the city miniature garden. Sure enough, I am seeking such big-city-life.
o+◆+o。..:*o+◆+o。..:*o+◆+o。..:*o+◆+o。..:*
人によって感覚もさまざま。という訳で、よほどの人に賑わい過ぎると見なされる大都会のことは、私の大好きなもの。
もちろん、大都会が好きになると、よい環境があることは前提なの。誰はゴミの中に暮らしたいのか?
高いストレスや忙しい仕事などと比べて、大都会が好まれない理由はおそらく、不気味な環境のせいかも知れない。建物の数が増すこと、人口の数が増すこと、都会化は多めの自然に侵していている。という訳で、私たちの側に、本物の自然は減る一方始末だった。したがって、都会中、人は小さな「自然」を作られだした。いわゆるの緑化地というものだった。少なくて小さくて、本物の自然と比べられるわけがないが、緑化地はすごい役立ちができた。家庭の箱庭のように、緑化地は都会全体の箱庭とは見える。
然も、その少ないこと極まりない箱庭さえ、自身がきれいな維持されることができなくなっていた。
そうではないか?遠く見た緑の草地は近くと見ればゴミだらけ、風の中に揺れているのは葉っぱのみならず、ビニール袋ともある。いつの間にか、目に見える美しい景色は、少しずつゴミで蝕まれていた。
結局、人間は自分のため作れ出した箱庭がいずれ、人間の手で壊されていた。
問題たるがこれというもの。
最初からも汚い箱庭があるのだろうか?ないだろう。ただ、目の前にそれと違う現実が私に答えを出させることになった。
考えてみれば、どせいこんなに違いない。
「ゴミを周りに捨てるな」という立て札を見ても、「そう言われてもしたらも…」という心理が最初のグミを産まれた。そして、「他の人もそうしたもん」と思って、多めの人がそうしていた。「周りの人もしたから、こっちもしたらかまわない」と考えたあげくの果て、もともとの少数が多数になり、もともとの無しものは「だらけ」になる、ということ。
自分の便利のほかより、深めに考えたことがないか?いつしか「ゴミは周りに捨てられない」と教えられなかったか?「ゴミは環境を破壊できる」と知らないか?「あるゴミは自分で分解しがたい」と聞いたことがないか?
大数の人はそんなことなんて、知っているはずなのに。行動にできなかった。
現代社会はただ豊かな物質生活を求めるばかり、精神的なものは虚無になるきらいがある。みんなも自分だけの「家」を守ればよいと思う、周りの環境はどんなになっても自分とも関わらぬなどの見方がある。科学はよい物質をくれる同時、汚染された環境をもきれいにできるだろうと考える人もたくさんいる。
しかし、まったく間違えた、そんな見方が。いくら自分の「家」を守ったところで、「家」も環境の一部という存在であり、科学はずいぶん進んだことは汚染をすっかり取り除くことができない。そのような見方に満ちられる世界は、退廃しつつあるとも仕方がない。
だから、私は、同じく考えを抱くたくさんの人は、そんな見方を受け取りたくない。
やはり周りの環境を守るべきだと思っている。
平民なのに大したことができないが、手元のいろんなことまだある。ゴミを勝手に捨てらないことやら、ゴミ分類をちゃんとして置くことやら、些細なことさえ一つ一つ積み重ねながら、いつか多く役立ちできる。
差し当たり、政府や国際組織も早く環境問題に関心を寄せていた。環境改善にめぐって、たくさんも努力した。平民であれ政府であれ、多めの人が関心をよせば本当に幸いだもの。
大都会に住んで、忙しい日々をすごして。毎日ラッシュの満員電車に乗って、毎日高まっているストレスを負って、人ごみの中に行きつ戻りつしている。そんな生活なのに、きれいな都会箱庭が目に入ったそばから、体や心ごともよく休ませられるのではないか。私は大都会の生活が大好き。忙しさから現代人間としている自分の存在を感じられ、都会箱庭からの自然で純粋な生命を楽しまれ、大都会生活たるものは、そんなもので私に憧れられている。

❀ cazador del amor

I remembered one day, in Shinjitsu’s blog there was a poll about “which whole version would you want to listen in el cazador OST1?”
And my answer was “el cazador.”
September 21, 2007, the magnificent original sound track “el cazador” was released. Here I want to thank my opera-friend Shinjitsu. But for her reminding it, I would not know it even now. But why until now the news was not be updated in Kajiura’s official website? Speak on it, the updating looks very belated from this year…
Well, forget it. This OST, as usual, fully glares Kajiura-style in each track. Also the song “I reach for the sun”, sang by Emily, is wonderful as the last song “forest.” Anyway, in all the tracks I love “cazador del amor” best! When I assured the Japanese version of “el cazador” would be concluded in this OST, ah~ my heart was surged by thousands of waves.
I listened to track 4 as soon as I got this OST, for tr.4 is “cazador del amor.” From the well-known prelude, and the intense voice of YUUKA, I heard another arrangement and the lovely Japanese lyric. Its original lyric was written in creating-language, and there is too much difference between it and Japanese. I mean if the song is fit for creating-language, it might not so match to Japanese. At least, I never thought about its Japanese version before. However, the Japanese version did a big success, oh, that was what a real Goodness did! To the song itself, I am afraid I could only use the 3-syllable-word to subscribe my feeling: wonderful! Sure enough, it is such a wonderful song which can make your heart ignited even if only once listing.
About the lasted big bang by Goodness, who can reject to enjoy it?
*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。*・。
まだ覚えています、あの日、Shinjitsuのブログにそんなアンケートがあった:「el cazador OST1」によると、どの歌に一番気になりますか?
そして私の答えは、「el cazador」でした。
平成19年長月21日、華麗な「el cazador OST2」正式に発売しました。ここでちょっとShinjitsuに感謝したいです!あなたのお陰で、私はそれを知りました。だって、今さえ、梶浦さんの公式サイトにそのことを掲載していません。どうかしたの?なんか今年から、公式サイトの更新がのろのろと遅いらしいです…
まあ、とりあえず、このOSTがやはり相変わらず梶浦スタイル満点です!Emilyさんのその「I reach for the sun」は前作「forest」と同じく、とても素晴らしいです。しかし、一番私を驚かせたのは「cazador del amor」と名のいう歌です。日本語化になりましたのか?本当、本当でしたなのよ!それを確かめたとき、心が千の波が押しえたような気がしました。
そして、OSTを手に取るや否や、たちまち第4トラック「cazador del amor」をプレーしました。前奏は懐かしくて、YUUKAの歌声も激しくて、編曲や歌詞のほうも少し改編されました。原歌詞は自造語なので、日本語の発音と比べて大して差別があります。つまり、旋律のほうに自造語が似合っても、日本語に変えては必ずしも同じく似合わないということがあります。せめて初めて自造語の「el cazador」を聞いた私は、日本語で歌うことなんてぜんぜん考えられません。でも今度の日本語化はとても成功でした、さすが女神様の作品なの!それで、歌自身について短く言えば、「凄い」と三音節の二文字にしか、ほかの何も言えなくなりました。確かに、これは一度聞いただけでも、心が燃え上がるほど「凄い」歌です。
女神様の最新大作、聞きたくない人がいますか?

♢ その日ひぐらしがないた・one day when cicadas cried

Even I, one not have an ear on any news, heard that news in the day before yesterday:
“September 19, 2007, Kyoto: A 16-year-old girl killed her father by an ax. Since she was a little girl she hated her father on his some actions. When she in the rudimentary school, she wanted to kill him. But she was waiting the day she has enough power to kill him. Finally one day when she has been to 17, she bought an ax. She did not go to bed that night and waited until 4 am. She went to his father’s room; cut her father some times used the ax. And after she assured his death, she awaked her mother and told her: ‘I cut my father.’ In another hand, although she thought ‘if only father disappeared from the world,’ she got some guilt to her parents.”
So that I got an email yesterday from the animation “Higurashi no Naku Koroni (ひぐらしのなく頃に)”s subscribed news:
“About ‘Higurashi no Naku Koroni’s on air break: because of the father-killing case, this animation was seen to have negative affection on it. (omission) we staff are negotiating with the TV stations for continue broadcasting. (omission) it is really a regret. (omission) we will notify you soon after the final decision. If you can wait for it, we will have the best blessedness. (omission)”
I had to really believe the news until I received this email, though I have had heard some rumors some days before.
Now I thought a lot about it; I think both the two cases are downright wrong: the case of father-killing, and the on-air break of the so-called negative animation. Maybe it is only my immature thinking, but it is my real think. Surely, I like this animation, and I want to watch till its ending. There is no any negative affection. Do you think only an animation can give someone so big affection? At least I do not think so.
And that is also one of my questions:
“Is there any animation can make one to kill another?”
To the end, what can effect us, is we ourselves, the circumstance, and the self-suggestion which made by the former two. Of course, animations are a kind of circumstance. We can laugh, cry, sing, and even imitate animations. But, animation is also made by people; it is a kind of illusion, a fiction. If only you are not an animation staffer, that animations are a tiny part of our lives. Our consciousness do is most important to the part on our action. However, can our consciousness be changed so simply? I am afraid I could call them whose answer was “yes,” with “the driftings.”
It is a fact that in animation “Higurashi no Naku Koroni,” there are some extreme senses. But to the most, it is not a bad animation. And in case of me, beside its entertainment, I also got something else: do not to obey the destiny, one has to live in self-style, and I believe one can change one’s destiny by the tiny actions. We can not consider anything with extreme senses to bad thing. In the world, everything has its two-side-nature.
Now back to that case. Her mother ever thought the girl’s protests were only her adolescent behaviors. The mother never knew her daughter would do such thing. At last, protest became tragedy. Who was wrong on earth?
The thinking in 16 or in adolescence is easy to change. I can get very well for I had walked out from it. In that time, I always too conceit, impertinent. I thought I was a queen in the world. And I also got some affection from animations. Although I have forget how much and what the affections were, there was one I can remember: to me myself, animations were only the incarnations which reflected my aspirations. From then, I knew more and more though I can not explanted clearly. Finally I got my target, and step toward my destination. I wonder whether everyone can go straight to the destination if only one knew what was really expected.
That is surely regretted on the girl. Her dream is become a cartoonist. However, she can be saved, I think. Her way is still long, and I hope she will not lose after it.
That is surely regretted on the breaking of “Higurashi no Naku Koroni.” But lots of staffers did their best for it, and lots of fans want to watch it. We can watch it someday; I and all the fans believe so.
Wish the world can go on peacefully.
ふだん新聞やニュースに時事音痴の私は、おとといそのことが知りました:
『平成19年9月19日、京都。一人の16歳の娘は自分の父親を斧で殺害しました:娘は幼い頃から父の女性にする仕方に父を嫌いになりました。小学校の時は父を殺したかったが、力が足りなかったので、できる時まで娘は待ってしまいました。つい17歳前に、娘は斧を買ってきて、一夜中眠らずに、夜明けの4時ごろ、ベッドに寝ていた父を斧で数回切ってきました。そして父の死亡確認した後、隣の部屋の母を覚めて、「父を切った」と言いました。もう一方、彼女にとって「父がこの世に消えてしまえばいい」という見方が持ちましたが、今は少しだけ父や母に「申し訳ない」という気持ちがあります。』
そして昨日、テレビアニメ『ひぐらしのなく頃に』のメール配信がそんなメールと届いてもらいました:
『「ひぐらしのなく頃に解」放送休止に関しまして:先日より斧や鉈を使った痛ましい事件が相次いでいる事情があり、一部の報道において、アニメやゲームが与える影響を取り沙汰されるといった状況がございます。(中略)放送続行について、各放送局へ繰り返し交渉を続けて参りましたが、(中略)誠に遺憾ではありますが、(中略)近日中にお知らせできるかと存じますので、少々お待ち頂ければ幸いです。(後略)』
このアニメは本当に放送休止になるなんて、先日にちょっと聞いたことがありましたが、そのメールが届いたまで私まだ信じられませんでした。
今、もう一度よくこの二つの事件や変化を考えれば、やはりどちらでもひどいことなのです。父を嫌いので殺すことなんても、悪い影響があるかもしれないのでアニメを放送休止することなんても。未熟な薄く考えたものだと思われるが、これは私の本当の見方です。本気に言えば、私はこのアニメが好き、これを見続きたいです。悪い影響なんてはありません。だって、アニメなんてそんなに大きな影響がありますか?ないはずでしょう。
そしてこれも私の持っていた疑問でした:
『人を殺させるほどひどいアニメが本当に存在していますか?』
到底、人を影響できるのは、その人自身、その人の周り、及びこの二者が作った自己暗示。もちろん、アニメは人の周りにあるものですから、これも一種の周りだと見なせます。という訳で、私たちはアニメのため笑ったり、泣いたり、歌ったりして、さらにはコスをしたりします。しかし、アニメはどうせ人で作り出すもの、ある幻のようなもの、即ちフィクションと言うものです。アニメ工作者ではない以上、アニメは私たち毎日の生活と比べては、ある小さすぎるものではありませんか。自身の意識こそ、人の行動を決定的なものです。でも、人の意識はそんな簡単に変わらせるものなんですか?『はい』と答える者のことを、私はおそらく『流されるもの』しかで呼びません。
『ひぐらしのなく頃に』と名の言うアニメは確かに過激なシーンがあります、この点で誰も認めません。でも大数の人にとって、このアニメはどこから見ても本当の悪いアニメではありません。私の立場でいえば、『ひぐらし』から私がもらったのは、娯楽の分を除いて、『運命に負けるわけがいけない、自分はどんなに弱くても、少しずつでも自分なりの仕方で行かなければなりません。』過激なシーンがあるのも一概に悪いと考えるかけがありません。『事物両面性』というのは、何のものでも持っていませんか。
あの16歳の娘の事件に戻ります。彼女いつも父に反抗したことを母親はずっとただの『思春期の少女の仕草』だと思われました。母親はどうしても娘はそこまでにしたことを見えていませんでした。結果、反抗は悲劇になりました。これ一体だれが悪かったのですか。
16歳の頃は思想が揺らぎやすい時期です。私もこんな揺らぎ思春期から歩き出したからよく理解できます。そんな時代の自分はよく生意気をしたり、わがままをしたり、勝手なことをたくさんしてきました。まるで、自分はこの世界の女王様のようでした。その時代の私はもちろんアニメに多少影響をもらいましたが、いくらとかどんなとか今はもう忘れてしまいました。でも、いつしか、私は分かりました。アニメは私にとっては、心の中にいたある『憧れ』という物の化身でした。あれから、私はどんどん何かが説明できないものを分かりになりました。ようやく私は自分の目標を見つけ、今後の目的地に歩き始めました。そして、自分の本当の期待するものを分かれば、どんな難い旅でも迷わずに行きぬけるのでしょうか。
その娘のことは本当に残念です。だって、彼女も夢は漫画家になるというものです。でも、彼女はまだ救わぬほどではありません。彼女も道はまだ長いです。これから、罪を洗いきる彼女は、もう一度道を見失いませんように。
その『ひぐらしのなく頃に』の休止のも本当に残念です。でも、それをすばらしく作り出すため、スタッフが一所懸命がんばってきて、それを見るため、大勢のファンが期待していますから。いつか放送続行ができます。私のようなファンたちもそう信じています。
どうか、この世界がいつまでも穏やかにいけますように。